Fortunately, I am not currently experiencing any conflicts or disagreements with anyone. While it is not yet to that point, I think it is possible that there could be a conflict brewing. I have recently taken a position as a director at a preschool program. While the assistant director and I work well together and she has been very helpful with assisting me in learning the ropes, it is obvious that she is used to working independently rather than as a team. I am often left out of the decision making process and important information often does not get communicated to me. So far, I have just dismissed these concerns as part of the process of transitioning into a new agency and program. If the situation continues, I could see the need to use “I” statements to express my concerns. It would be important for me to not make assumptions about her motives because true communication occurs when we focus on “clarifying what is being observed, felt, needed, and wanted, rather than on diagnosing and judging” (Center for Nonviolent Communication, 2013, para 5). The 3Rs would also be an effective strategy for developing a meaningful and respectful relationship with the assistant director. As O’Hair & Wiemann (2012) also remind us “relationships depend on good communication to thrive” (p. 167). Good relationships also prevent conflict which can have a negative impact on communication. NVC also suggests that compassion and cooperation are important factors that act to facilitate meaningful and satisfying relationships. I am hopeful that developing a relationship with the assistant director and giving the situation some time will help me avoid any conflict.
O'Hair, D. & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real
communication: An introduction. New York, New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (2013).
Foundations of NVC. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/learn/nvc-foundations
Geralyn,
ReplyDeleteI think it is more challenging to manage conflict when it involves someone who you need to work very closely with on a daily basis. Especially when the issue of power is involved. As it states in our text, one way to resolve conflict when it involves a power relationship is to clearly define who has the power to make certain decisions. Are you sure that your assistant has a clear understanding of her role? When team members change you often need to redefine and clarify roles. I had a similar conflict once when I was in the position similar to your Assistant Director. I was used to working independently and at first, my supervisor liked that. However, my supervisor avoided conflict. She did this with everyone. She would stonewall and not communicate with me. I became very assertive on the other hand. Needless to say the relationship broke down completely. As you stated, relationships depend on good communication. When communication fails so does the relationship. The other thing is to not avoid the conflict but be open to working on the problem. Avoiding conflict only makes things worse in my experience.
Hi Geralyn,
ReplyDelete“Good relationships also prevent conflict which can have a negative impact on communication. NVC also suggests that compassion and cooperation are important factors that act to facilitate meaningful and satisfying relationships. I am hopeful that developing a relationship with the assistant director and giving the situation some time will help me avoid any conflict” (cnvc.org).
I think you should just continue to focus on learning the skills you will need to become director. Some people don’t have the type of emotions that we have and she maynot have your outgoing personality.. As long as she is being professional I would keep it the way it is. What is that sayings “if it ain’t broke don’t try and fix it? I think you’re applying yourself very well to the situation. Try not to be too concerned about it.
Kathleen
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
Hi Geralyn, congrats on your position. Most conflicts are based on people thinking they are the "I" in "TEAM". Which is impossible, things go smoothly, faster, and you learn how to communicate with teamwork.
ReplyDeleteGeraly,
ReplyDeleteCongrats on a new position. While no conflict has raised yet, I can also see where one may interfere with you two. I can only imagine how you feel as being the lead and being left out, but also being new and not being informed. Using the "I statements" I think will create the communication dialogue but also acknowledging the fact that you understand she has been working independently for however long, that you are there by no means to overstep or to belittle her character or capability; but furthermore as another body to help with all the things that are required in their job description. In another aspect, I wouldn't let something petty cause a conflict whereas you both should be there to support the children and their families in their daily routines and to assist them with comments, questions, and or concerns.
Sherrell