All of those who were most influential in my life as I was growing up were family members. My parents were of course two of the most important influences in my life. Each provided a very different kind of support.
My mother- My parents tried for 5 years before they were able to conceive. The fact that I was the first-born influenced the care and love that I received-at least until my sister arrived! My mother was always very protective and very concerned with keeping me safe and healthy. She also provided a very stable, consistent and reliable environment. The influence of this early relationship continues to impact my life. I am most comfortable in an organized and predictable setting. I prefer to maintain a regular schedule and stick with what I am familiar with. She also instilled in me the love of cooking. She is the person that taught me how to cook and it was from her that I came to appreciate the role of food in carrying on family traditions.
My father- My father is the one that played with me and read to me. He is the one who taught me about learning how to get along with others. He was gentle, caring and generous with me and with others. He once told that one should do things for others with the expectation that you would get nothing in return. He said that if the other person acknowledged what you did or returned the favor, then you would be pleasantly surprised, but that if they did nothing, you would not be disappointed. This still influences how I try to approach life. He also instilled in me the love of learning and the love of books. It was this influence that helped me be successful in school. Reading is still one of my favorite pastimes.
My grandparents were also influential in my life. None of my grandparents had much formal schooling. My paternal grandparents had no formal schooling and my maternal grandfather only completed the 2nd grade. Because of this, they taught me to value education. They were always interested in how I was doing in school and often gave me books as gifts. They served as a model for me. Despite the lack of formal education, they were all avid readers. My paternal grandparents learned how to read and write in their home language and then learned to read and write in English. I also learned perseverance from them. They encouraged me to not give up and to have confidence in myself.
My paternal grandmother was much like my father- very caring, patient and gentle. She left her family at the age of 17 to immigrate to this country. Because of this, family connections were very important to her. She instilled this in me by sharing traditions that she brought from Slovenia and ensuring that the grandchildren were the focus of all family gatherings.
Religion also influenced the relationships that I had with my family. My parents and grandparents made the Church a central focus in our lives. It influenced where I went to school and the values that my parents taught me. This value system and the connection to the Church still play an major role in my life.
All of these relationships continue to influence my life and my values. It has also had a profound influence on how I raised my own children and the traditions and values that I tried to instill in them.
Favorite memories-
Paternal Grandfather- If you were very luck, on Friday afternoons you might get to ride in the company truck to the dump and then stop for orange pop at one of the local bars on the way home.
Maternal Grandparents- When I would spend the night, there was always little can of Hershey’s chocolate syrup that was just for me. My grandfather would let me pour as much chocolate syrup on my ice cream as I wanted-even the whole can.
